


The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

by commanderogerss



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, I'm Sorry, Steve Rogers is a bookworm, Steve Rogers is a nerd, he's a mega nerd, i love it, i'm writing more ofc and i want to punch myself, yes the ofc has to be librarian haters gonna hate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-10-06
Packaged: 2018-02-10 08:27:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2018013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commanderogerss/pseuds/commanderogerss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He loves to read and she's a librarian. She reads to him, and he'll draw her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bookworm

**Author's Note:**

> BASICALLY, I want to stab myself in the eye because I'm writing another Steve/ofc fic. Not really, I just had this inspiration to write it and it went from there. The title of this fic is from the book "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter" by Carson McCullers - yes it is a real book. This isn't beta-d, though I have read it thoroughly (even going over my tenses because I realise how much I suck at tenses, you're welcome) so any mistake is my own and I'm so sorry! So here is the first chapter, I hope you enjoy it. Chapters are going to come out when I can write it, I'll try my best.

Reading is a favourite past time. His mother always found books for him to read when he was sick, when he was _always_ sick. When his mother passed away it was Bucky’s turn. It took a lot of convincing since he is so stubborn and didn’t want any help, especially help to go and find new books to pass the time with when he isn’t drawing (though given he draws a lot of the characters he reads about). Once a week he’s in the library finding books to read. He would read books by Agatha Christie, John Steinbeck, F. Scott Fitzgerald, William Faulkner, and George Orwell. He tried J.R.R. Tolkien, it took him a while to understand the fantasy and H.P. Lovecraft was way too weird for him. He read all of the greats, when he could and he wasn’t on his death bed too sick and tired to read.

During the Second World War he’d read novels about war specifically World War One; finding his way between fiction and non-fiction. He read ‘ _The Secret Battle_ ’ by A.P. Herbert, ‘ _Parade’s End_ ’ by Ford Madox Ford, ‘ _Memoirs of an Infantry Officer_ ’ by Siegfried Sassoon, and ‘ _Ashenden: Or the British Agent_ ’ by W. Somerset Maugham among others when he was in his bunk before and after training. Whenever he had free time he’d read these stories of the First World War that commenced due to the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria and his wife (this is what lead to a chain of events, thus triggering the start of World War One).

He didn’t have time to read fictional novels during his time at war because he’s living the real world and had no time to run off to another land that is filed with problems he couldn’t save. And once he became Captain America (not Senator Brandt’s puppet), he didn’t have time to read at all. When he was on liberty (or shore leave as sailors would call it), he’d find a library or a bookstore that was open and would try to read the book he picked before he had to leave due to closing or he was hungry. Bucky would often make a remark of where he went and he simply replies with:

                “In another world”

Sometimes he reads books suggested to him. When at a library in England, he asks for suggestion on books, the woman tells him to read ‘ _The Heart is a Lonely Hunter_ ’ by Carson McCullers. It’s about a man who is deaf and cannot speak, set in a small town in the state of Georgia and the encounters of the residence of the town. He felt close to the main character Singer who uses sign language to talk to people, and he felt sad for Dr. Copeland. When reading about what happens to Singer, he couldn’t help but cry. Later that night the librarian came around to tell him that it was closing soon, noticing his red puffy eyes scanning the page she holds a warm smile and leaves him alone for another half an hour. She still has more work to do that she’d rather finish now then finish in the morning.

Once he left the library to go to sleep in the small hotel he stays at with Bucky, he knew there were going to be accusations of being with a dame. That was the first thing Bucky asked whenever he came home late.

                “How was she?” He couldn’t help but chuckle lightly at Bucky as he passes him to go and find his pyjamas so he could slip into them and fall asleep for the night, finding himself in another library reading another book.

                “I didn’t see a dame Bucky” he comments, pulling out the long cotton pants and a button up shirt. Bucky smirks and turns around to face his friend who was pulling off his jacket and the many layers. It was autumn, but it was slowly getting colder each day.  

                “Don’t lie to me, you’re a horrible liar you know that?” He rolls his eyes and pulls the button up shirt on him buttoning the buttons from top to bottom.

                “I’m not lying. I was at the library again, reading a book about a deaf-mute character” He sighs as he un-buckles his belt letting it fall to the ground with a soft clang. “I’ve been reading. I haven’t been with a dame!” He repeats reassuring his friend. Bucky chuckles nodding.

                “Riiiight.” Bucky scoffs and turns around to find his way to his bed crawling under the covers. Now in his pyjamas, he too found his bed and crawls underneath.

                “Night jerk”

                “Night punk”

Once he was off Liberty he didn’t read much. All of the books he had he’d already of read them, of course he’d re-read them but after some time he get bored of reading. For Christmas one day, Bucky bought the book he was talking about in the hotel many months ago. He thanks his friend for the gesture, giving Bucky some alcohol with a sheepish smile rubbing the back of his neck.

                “Sorry it’s not much”

                “Are you kidding me, I got you a freaking book!” Bucky couldn’t help but laugh opening it up and finding himself two glasses to pour the golden liquor in it.

                “I heard I can’t get drunk” he admits looking from the glasses to Bucky who shoves the glass into his hands.

                “Well, let’s try then!” A smirk fell on his friends face. Bucky was determine to see if this was the case. Of course now Bucky knew that if there were a drinking match he’d never win.

His reading slowly came to a halt, when Bucky fell to his death he wouldn’t read, he wouldn’t eat, and he wouldn’t do anything but sleep. He didn’t care who dies, he wants HYDRA gone. The months leading up to Red Skull’s demise he read slowly, small chapters here and there when he had time. However he was more and more preparing for the fight of his life. And when he found himself solid in the ice, Peggy couldn’t help but hold onto his belongings. Including the book Bucky gave him. She would cry reading the inscription Bucky wrote for his friend.

                ‘ _To Stevie, I found the book you were fawning over in the hotel room that one night. It took me some time but I found it. Now you can read it without having to go to a library and instead finding your way to the dames with me. I hope you enjoy the gift, it’s nothing special but I tried._

    — _James “Bucky” Barnes._ ’

When he woke up from his 70 yearlong nap, the first thing he requested was a book. Of course the nurse didn’t know what kind of book but all he could reply with is:-

                “The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers” and the nurse scurries away trying to find the book that matches those exact words.

He began reading again and discovering new authors. He had a lot more to read since there are a ton more authors. The team got him to read all of the more well-known novels, like Harry Potter (he ended up linking this to Lord of the Rings, so it took him some time to get into), Twilight (this one he outright said no – even if Tony was snickering), works by Sylvia Plath, ‘ _1984_ ’ by George Orwell (he was four years too late to read that Orwell novel), Stephen King novels and ‘ _Enders Game_ ’ by Orson Scott Card among others.

After the attack on New York City, and once the city was cleaned up he found himself in a small library finding new books to read and soon to add to his collection. He looks at the spines of the books noticing the minimal wording on them or the outrageous colours looking at the covers now. A lot of them have faces or they’re faceless. With words like ‘ _Love_ ’ and ‘ _Man_ ’ as titles. All he could do was sigh. Books have changed since he was in the thirties and forties. Sure, there will always be dumb books that make no sense – but it seems now more than ever, people are just making money on authoring because it seems to be ‘ _easy_ ’.

                “Looking for something in particular?” He hears a voice ask him. He looks next to him to notice a woman with thick rimmed glasses, jeans and a shirt with some form of reference he didn’t seem to understand. She was short, well comparing himself to her she’s short. She also looks very young, at least in her early twenties.

                “Oh uh—” he pauses looking from the woman to where he was looking before. “Just looking for new books to read.” He admits, smiling sheepishly. She nods and smiles back. Her lips purse together and she hums obviously in thought.

                “Well, what kind of genre are you into?” She asks him.

                “Anything really.” He shrugs his shoulders and she thought for a moment.

                “Have you read Game of Thrones? I think that would be my go to book.” She smiles at him. He shakes his mind confused about what the book is about. “You’ve heard of the TV show right? They adapted the book to TV. I’d be surprised if you haven’t heard about it.” She began walking to where the novel was held.

                “What’s it like? The book.” He adds clarifying himself. She looks behind her and smiles.

                “Now I’m actually surprised you don’t know what it’s about. It’s set in a fantasy world where several noble houses are fighting for this throne. To put it bluntly. It’s like 800 or so pages, it’ll take you a while to read” she smiles at him as she slows her step. She found the novel and hands it to the tall man. He nods.

                “Thanks ma’am.” He says with a smile.

                “Ma’am?” She questions with a smirk “you can call me Leia” she pauses and smiles at him before adding “my parents are huge _Star Wars_ nerds.”

                “Steve” his hand props out and she shakes it. Steve hasn’t watched Star Wars yet, but Tony told him it was on his list of movies to watch.

He looks at the book, the cover was blue and has a silver sword on it. The words ‘ _GAME OF THRONES. A NEW ORIGINAL SERIES FROM HBO_ ’ were in brown on top with the next wording in the same font read ‘ _#1 NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLING AUTHOR_ ’ the next two lines both said ‘ _GEORGE R.R. MARTIN – A GAME OF THRONES_ ’ he was nervous to start reading this book as it seems like another Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter but he decides to give it a try as it wasn’t going to hurt anyone.

                “Nice to meet you Steve. If you need any help I’ll be around” she gave him a small smile whilst pushing some of her hair back behind her ear walking away from him. He looks behind him and smiles before trying to find an available seat and desk that isn’t taken by students and others.

Steve is on page 146, Sansa’s direwolf Lady is found in the crowd and Joffrey is asked to look after Sansa. He didn’t notice the feel of a hand on his shoulder when he heard his name. He jumps a little and looks to his right to see Leia, the librarian who decides to help him with picking out the book.

                “We’re closing for the night Steve” she motions around them to find that there were a few people collecting their things. Steve looks at his watch and his eyes opens wide realising the time that flew by fast enough. He wasn’t late for anything, he didn’t have a meeting with the team or Fury, but he didn’t seem to dwell on the fact that he was here.  

                “Is that the time?” Steve questions, Leia nods. “Can I uh- borrow this? If that’s no trouble” He asks pointing to the book in hand.

                “Did you enjoy it?” She questions with a big gleeful look on her face. Steve couldn’t help but smile and nod. “Excellent, you may borrow it. I’ll ring it up.” Leia said as she holds her hand out and Steve passes her the novel. He gets out of the chair and follows her. His hands are in his pocket, with her holding onto the book and her hair was slowly swaying with each step she took. He wonders what it’s like to be a librarian. Probably hard work.

                “I don’t usually like fantasy stories. I’m not a huge fan of Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings.” He couldn’t help to admit and she gasps turning around the bench so she now faces Steve.

                “I’m very hurt you don’t like Harry Potter. I was reading that when I was little!” He smiles at her loving the innocent nature in her voice. “That’s my childhood! Well, at least you’re reading Game of Thrones. It’s my favourite.”

                “Oh it’s not that I don’t like it, it just took me some time to get into it. I did enjoy it a fair bit.” He shrugs his shoulders. Leia scans the book and looks from the computer screen to Steve.

                “Do you have a library card?” She asks. Steve shakes his head.

                “No sorry!” Steve has been in this library endless times but never borrows because he usually finishes the books in record time, or comes back the next day not seemingly gripped to the plot, unlike _Game of Thrones_. Leia leaves the book on the counter and bends down finding a little card and a piece of paper.

                “So, I need you to read this and sign whatever it tells you like your full name, date of birth, address, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Once you’re done, you’ll need to sign the card with your signature and I can register you up and you can read the rest of Game of Thrones.” A warm smile was gracing her lips, Steve nods to everything she says but tenses when she asks for a date of birth. He couldn’t lie, but she would freak out if she was meeting a man who was born in 1918 but looks to be in his late twenties.

When she passes the sheet over with a blue pen he signs where needed. ‘ **LAST NAME** : _Rogers_ **FIRST & MIDDLE NAME**: _Steven Grant_ **DATE OF BIRTH** : _July 4 th, 1985_…’ He wouldn’t guess that she knew who he was, but by now she would have had to. Steve has a light scruff on his face, but to most people he should be noticeable. Lately, he really hasn’t. She passes the card over and types in his details. She couldn’t help but smirk looking at his details.

                “Alright Steve, congratulations on your new library card!” She smiles with a laugh. Steve is confused, and Leia shakes her head. “Sorry I was thinking of that Arthur show where they got library cards.” Steve was still confused. “Don’t worry, it’s an old kid show I watched when I was little.” Steve makes an ‘ _O_ ’ with his lips and held onto the card putting it in the wallet that was located in the back of his pocket.

                “Thank you” he smiles dearly at her holding onto the book.

                “Alright, you should probably get home someone might be worried sick about you!” She motions for him to leave. “I’ll see you next time bookworm” she said with a smirk.

                “I’ll see you next time” he repeats with a smile leaving through the double doors, he looks back at Leia before he couldn’t see her any more. Leia began packing some things up holding a smile to her face. Steve left and Leia looks up to see if he was still there. She chuckles to herself

                “Steve Rogers, of course”


	2. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve visits the library again after a long absence, he then gets invited to watch Game of Thrones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry xinfinity that I haven't uploaded a chapter. I've been busy with school and assignments and yeah so I hope this chapter is a okay!

Weeks pass, and she only sees him one more time a week or two ago. Only once. He’ll talk about how work held him up so he didn’t come into read but he read between work. He said he’d be in the next day, but he didn’t show up. She’ll notice a man with a blue jacket, or dirty blonde hair but it’s not _him_ and she’s almost disappointed about it, _almost_. She shouldn’t be upset, he’s just some guy who reads a book she loves. Leia continues her life as normal, she wakes up at 9 am and gets ready for her job.

This is what she does, she doesn’t go to school anymore so the library is her only use of social life. Sure she has old college friends, but she’s not as connected to them as she used to be, she only really has two other close friends. Leia lost contact with her high school friends, yeah she can see what they’re up to on Facebook but in reality she doesn’t really care about them, they only cared about her until high school finished. The walk to work is nice and slow, she doesn’t need to busy herself with a car or a taxi; it makes things a whole lot easier.

Hours pass and no sign of him. Leia sighs and looks down at the counter top. She can hear the door opening and closing behind the stranger; nothing out of the ordinary, until she hears a voice, his voice.

                “Uhm, excuse me ma’am?” He coughs, she can hear the nervousness in his speak. She lifts her head up and smiles. He’s taken aback by who the woman at the front desk is. “Oh hi Leia, I didn’t notice you there… sorry about that.” Steve laughs nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

                “Oh no it’s fine! I wasn’t really greeting people of sorts. But hi, how are you? She asks him with a giant grin on her face, happy that she can finally see him. Leia doesn’t know why she’s happy to see him, maybe because he’s reading a book and he hasn’t seen the TV show so it should be all knew for him, and he seems generally happy to see her.

                “I’m okay yourself?”

                “I’m good, thank you for asking! So what can I help you with?” Leia asks, the grin is still on her face. Steve paused trying to remember what he wanted until he realised the thing he needed to ask Leia about is in his hands.

                “OH! Uhm, where do I return the book?” He asks, Leia’s smile grows greater. He’s finally finished the book. She nodded before she realised what she was doing.

                “Right, uhm…” she pauses thinking. “Just hand it to me and I’ll scan it through.” Leia said holding her hand out. Steve gives her the book and he watches her do whatever she does so the book still isn’t borrowed under Steve’s name. “Do you want to read the second book?” Leia asks as she’s finished doing everything that is needed to do.

                “There’s a second book?” She nods. “Well then, yes I would.” Steve said matching Leia’s smile.

Steve follows Leia as she holds the first book. They walk to the section where the second Game of Thrones book is located. She puts the first one back and takes the second one for Steve.

                “We have a ton of them since it’s such a popular book now. Oh we should watch the first season of the TV show. It’s kind of like the book and it’s pretty accurate but there are some differences.” Leia shrugs her shoulders. She realised what she said but sighs knowing she cannot take it back. Steve smiles and nods.

                “Sounds like a good idea. I’ll make a time and a date. Sorry I didn’t come in much, work made me do some unspeakable things.” Steve said with a smirk and a wink. Leia laughs at him.

                “Sounds like a good idea. It’s not really that interesting here anyways. It wasn’t like I was waiting for you to show up.” Leia believes she’s an idiot.

Leia wants to hit herself in the head for being a huge idiot. She laughs nervously and sighs. _Maybe walking away is the best idea_ she thinks to herself. It’s silent between the two except for keyboard tapping and people whispering… or at least trying to whisper. Steve holds the book up and nods walking away from her to find a seat.

                “God you’re a fucking idiot Leia!” She mumbles to herself as she walks in the other direction to the front desk. There wasn’t anyone waiting so she decides to put some books away, it might help her get her mind off of Steve.

Hours and hours go by and Leia glances over at Steve a lot. Sometimes he’ll notice and wave, she’ll blush and wave back before tending back to her duties as a librarian. It was a long day but she got to the end of it in time and she smiles to herself. She walks over to where he remembered Steve sat and tapped his shoulder lightly he moved his head so that he was now looking at her upside down.

                “It’s time to pack up Steve. Want to borrow that one?” She asks him with a smile. He gets out of his chair and nods at her before he begins to follow her to the desk. He takes out his library card and hands it to her with a smile and she smiles back at him. “I was wondering, if it’s not too much trouble…” Leia begins to talk and Steve becomes worried “if you wanted, that is if you wanted you can deny it. Uhm… do you want to come to mine tonight and we can watch Game of Thrones? It does go for about ten hours so we can stop watching it half way because I don’t think you’d want stay over at mine.” She doesn’t look Steve in eye, only at the book, the card and the computer. Steve smiles warmly deciding on what he is going to do.

                “That sound great. Do you want me to pick anything up for dinner?” He asks. Leia is taken aback and pauses what she’s doing before she realises what she just did and coughs.

                “Oh, uhm… I don’t mind, you are my guest after all. I can order us some pizza if you’d like?” Leia asks with a smile. Steve nods, she passes the book, his receipt and his card. “I’m just going to clean up the place so you can wait here if you want, or you can walk with me…” Leia said walking out behind the counter.

Steve took option b and followed her around as she turned off computers and pushed in chairs, he even decided to help her around and even though she didn’t _really_ need the help, it is much appreciated nonetheless. Leia went into the staff room where Steve stopped before Leia smiled and welcomed him in, almost like he is a vampire and needed to be welcomed into the area. She picked up her jacket and put it on her, grabbing the small things she has that includes her bag and she held onto it and smiles at Steve.

                “Shall we leave then?” Leia asked and Steve smiles. Leia turns all of the lights off in each room and locks the doors behind her. They then begin walking from the library to Leia’s home. She doesn’t know if they’re both silent because either one of them are too nervous to talk or either one of them are too content to talk. It would take them a good ten, fifteen minutes to get to her home.

                “How long have you been working at the library?” Steve breaks the silence between them.

                “Oh!” He startles her out of her thoughts. “Uhm, I began working there when I was at school, so four years? Yeah.” She smiles at Steve. She doesn’t have a question for him, she almost too scared to speak in case something astray happens.

                “That sounds pretty stable, so you like being a librarian?”

                “No one really likes being a librarian Steve, it pays the bills but it’s cool to see people read kind of makes me smile. Especially seeing beefed up guys like you who look like they’ve never read before!” She felt like she offended him, even if he didn’t show it and all he could do is smile at her. “I’m sorry, I don’t think you’re some dumb witted male who lifts, I just think… I’m going to shut up.” Leia ends up saying feeling dumb herself for even saying anything.

Steve began laughing. Leia looks up at him with a confused look on her face.

                “Why are you laughing?” She asks confused.

                “Oh nothing, you just remind me of myself with some things you say.” Steve admits remembering how he would blubber on and on to girls. Now Leia was blubbering on to Steve and all he could do is smile.

Leia isn’t a social butterfly who can talk to just about anyone, _except she has a job that expects her to communicate to everyone who comes in_. When she’s talking to friends, on dates, to her co-workers, to people who just want to borrow a book, that’s all she can do is blubber on about nothing because that’s what she’s most comfortable with.

                “Right… are you excited with Game of Thrones? I do have to remind you that the first season there’s a lot of nudity and violence. Though in later seasons they up the violence and lower the nudity. I reckon it’s because they want to sort of get the male audience members viewing and then once they’re hooked lower the nudity.” Leia said rambling on about the first season. All Steve did is nod at her words.

                “Oh okay. Well I did feel uncomfortable at the scenes like that in the book. Though I’m sure I’ll be fine.” Steve said.

The pair make their way to Leia’s apartment and they go up a few flight of stairs before they make it to her _abode_. She opens the door and has Steve go first, once he’s in she goes in and closes the door behind her putting things where they need to be. She makes her way to the kitchen and takes a glass out of the cupboard where they are and realises that Steve might be thirty himself.

                “Hey Steve, do you want anything to drink at all? I have water, coke, juice, uhm I think I might have some left over beers from a few of my friends who forgot to take them home.” She pops her head out from the fridge to look at Steve with a smile. “I’m not a beer drinker, I absolutely cannot stand how bitter it is!”

                “I’ll have some water if you wouldn’t mind.” Steve places the book on her countertop and looks around the room, he notices photographs of people he assumes are friends and or family members. The small apartment feels nice and homey to him and that’s what he needs.

                “Here you go Steve.” Leia says handing Steve the glass of water, he nods at her in thanks and follows her into the living room putting the drink down on the coffee table and sitting down watching Leia as she chooses the first season of Game of Thrones, taking out the disc and putting it in the DVD tray. She gets the DVD remote and presses play starting the first episode of Game of Thrones.

By the time they finish the fifth episode it’s already almost twelve at night. Leia couldn’t help but nervously giggle whenever a sex scene was on, and Steve felt almost uncomfortable. He made a remark and ask that they show this kind of thing and Leia couldn’t help but laugh nodding. She gave him a smirk and said ‘I told you so’. The pair demolished the pizza they ordered and Steve ended up paying for the whole thing considering he ordered a lot of pizzas which given for Leia was kind of weird, but he ended up paying so she didn’t mind. Leia stopped the DVD and took it out of the tray and putting it back into the case. She feels a yawn coming on and covers her mouth not showing the pizza she had before.

                “I’m so sorry, I’m so beat!” She said with a laugh.

                “Don’t worry about it, I should probably get going anyways it’s getting really late.” Steve admits as he gets up from the couch and puts his glass into the sink. He grabs Clash of Kings off of Leia’s counter and walks near the front door. Leia skips from the living room to the front door and smiles at Steve.

                “I guess it’s time to go then. Do you want to do this again tomorrow? I don’t have work at all tomorrow so you can come over and we can watch it the last five episodes.” Leia asks. She feels almost giddy and she’s in high hopes that he does.

                “I’m not sure if my work agree with that.” Steve laughs and Leia laughs along with him.

                “Where do you work?” She asks, curiosity lacing her every word. She couldn’t help but be curious, with every word he talks about work it seems like a very demanding job that Leia could not handle at all.

                “Oh, it’s nothing I’m just a part of a team that kind of helps people.” Steve said rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish smile.

                “That sounds awesome. Well here,” Leia pauses and grabs a pen and a sheet of paper writing down her mobile number. _Subtle Leia_ , she thinks to herself. “Here’s my number so that if your job isn’t so out of hand, we can watch the next five episodes of Game of Thrones tomorrow and if so give me a ring.” She said as she finishes writing down her number. Under it she writes **Leia Irving**.

                “Thank you Leia” he said with a warm smile. Leia would have given him a hug but she felt like maybe that was unnecessary. She opens the door and moves out of the way. Steve gives her wave and walks away, Leia closes the door behind her and cleans herself up before she heads to bed. Steve looks at the piece of paper and then at the door, but it is shut. He sighs and walks home. 


End file.
